Archive for Things that are Odd
December 3, 2009
· Filed under The Childhood, Things that are Odd · Tagged cornucopia, email, horn of plenty, things that suck
As many people know, I truly couldn’t dislike cornucopias anymore than I naturally do.
I really cannot stand them.
They pretty much ruin the entire month of my birthday with their corn filled lies. I will go so far as to say they plague my dreams and fill my heart with bottomless sorrow.
Also I don’t like anything that can is a synonym for “the horn of plenty.”
I thought I successfully avoided all the suck that cornucopia’s bring this holiday season… but apparently someone who sends me shopping emails thought I look like the kind of girl who wants this email:
Well I am totally not. I want nothing to do with your “cornucopia of savings”.
Merry Christmas.
♫LAUREN
July 28, 2009
· Filed under Things that are Odd, Wonders · Tagged organic, rupaul, theory of organic, tomatoes
I have an issue. I don’t believe in the new trend of organics.
I believe everything that comes from the earth is inherently organic. So some aspect of a tomato is organic, some aspect of cotton is always organic.
What I really don’t get is paying like $7.00 for a small bags of oranges.. because they claim they are organic. (read all the stickers on them… they are not all organic)
♫lauren
condron.us
July 21, 2009
· Filed under A Lifetime Event, Things that are Odd · Tagged bohemian style, fruit, humor, indie kid, indie style, JASON SCHWARTZMAN, labels, natalie portman, purses, quilt dress, style, zach braff, zooey deschanel
I have gone on for 23 years of my life being called eccentric, weird, and comical (at least the things people say to me).
But I’ve never been affirmed into any such group or click.
In the last week 2 people have labeled me…. And I find it fascinating. I mean to a label-less person… I feel like I moderately know how I am percieved by the general public.
I was first called an indie kid.
which is cool, because i do like indie things… they are nice:
and then I was called bohemian… and i was told that i reminded people of fruit… which is also nice.
I like fruit… so long as it is not in a corcnocopia.
I don’t really know what this label means but I have an opinion.
I feel very scared about being easily grouped.
but I would like to know from people who really know me? Am I these things? Is this what my alternative rock, brown hair and bangs, and black plastic glasses have lead to? Am I so easily labeled? Do I remind you of fruit? Is that the reason I want a sweater vest?
Tell me.
♫LAUREN
condon.us
July 10, 2009
· Filed under Things that are Odd · Tagged snapple, natural flavor, clint eastwood, ozone, deer, dirt, flavor
So today I’m drinking Snapple which is as the people know made from the best stuff on earth.
it tells me it’s made of natural flavors, but doesn’t specify those said “natural flavors”:
do they include dirt?
grass?
tree bark?
root?
deer eyelashes?
o-zone?
Clint Eastwood?
Tell me please Snapple! Don’t leave me hanging! Also, the longer i think about it… the more i’m grossed out.
♫LAUREN
condron.us
June 30, 2009
· Filed under SPECIAL, Things that are Odd · Tagged anthony kiedis, celebrities, celebrity, humor, public service anouncement, shopping
I cannot stand media outlets that report news… because it’s never really news…. ahem TMZ, and every other “entertainment this hour” shows that plague my tv!!!
For Example: Anthony Kiedis going grocery shopping qualifies as not news. Please don’t have this as a headline event. He eats food. And it is not delivered by Dave Navarro every day of the week.
I mean Anthony Kiedis is exceptionally awesome… but I don’t need to know if he buys skim milk, and febreeze. Especially since he doesn’t follow me around the market snickering at my fruitcups and granola bars.
Let the peep’s shop in peace.
That I think is my public service announcement for the week.
♫LAUREN
CONDRON.US
June 25, 2009
· Filed under Things that are Odd, Uncategorized · Tagged glove, Jimmy, michael jackson, tmz
Okay nothing snarky or sarcastic here (for a change)
Thank you my dear friends for flooding me with the information about Michael Jackson. Yes Jimmy and Christine I believe you now!!!
I hope people don’t use his passing as an excuse to be really shitty… ahem TMZ!!! Please don’t be more assy than regular
He was a talented musician.
♫
June 11, 2009
· Filed under Eric's in Space & Time, SPECIAL, Things that are Odd · Tagged eric, merchandise, tropical, tropical briefcase
I think there could be a lot of fun making merchandise for Viciously Sweet.
Imagine going to a meeting and seeing this beauty:
Eric Briefcase is FUN & FUNCTIONAL.
♫LAUREN
condron.us
June 11, 2009
· Filed under Clay Mazement, Enjoyable Stuff, SPECIAL, Things that are Odd · Tagged CLAY AIKEN, Isabel, isabels, mugs
If this website had merchandise it would look a lot like this:
would anyone like one???
♫LAUREN
condron.com
June 1, 2009
· Filed under Clay Mazement, Things that are Odd · Tagged apologize, awards show, CLAY AIKEN, Isabel, kool-aid, microphone
Isabel has some studying to do, in fact she has so much learning going on she forgets about the things she promises:
That means she may not show up to that weird Canadian Awards show with you Clay Aiken. However she will make you a batch of kool-aid you can drink out of a test-tube… she has extra test tubes.
She will also play the song “Apologize” on the mandolin for you… after she finishes her mandolin lesson.
Happy Monday!
♫LAUREN
condron.us
May 27, 2009
· Filed under Delicious Chicken, Enjoyable Stuff, Things that are Odd, Wonders · Tagged delicious, disneyland, dissapointment, fried chicken
I have a sad tale to tell.
And I’m going to start with a reference to Christine’s recent graduation. How do you deal with disappointment?
In recent times people have become obsessed with the idea of being healthy, although most people just loaf about downing caffeine like water while watchin’ Oprah. But I must admit, I’m fine with health nuts… I even cavort about town with them. I have no problem if you like go to Trader Joe’s and spend an exorbitant amount of money on oranges… see if I care.
But I do care about certain things, like chicken. Everyone that knows me knows how I feel about chicken… you can keep your cow, pig or squirrel (or whatever meat you like) and just hand me some chicken. I’ll be happy.
I must also admit… I love all types of chicken. Seriously, it’s all good (except beaks and feet, thank you) Especially my beloved fried chicken. A favorite at diners, amusement parks and with the Colonel.
Now as I mentioned the world is becoming healthier. And as an added observation, some extremists like to ruin things for everyone. And they usually start this by accusing companies like McDonalds of killing and endangering children. When there has never been an actual case of Ronald McDonald threatening mothers to buy Crispy-Mc-This-and-that’s or he was going to blow their brains out. It is quite honestly people’s penchant to overindulge and Mc Flurry themselves to death. Yet again, NOT MY PROBLEM.
It is my problem when you those said extremists get to big corporations and they eradicate the problem so they no longer have to hear about it.
Little did I know about Disneyland’s new food menu.
I went to Disneyland and after a few rides I said “mmmm fried chicken sounds good.” So I scooted my way to the French Market, which serves fried chicken and taters as well as clam chowder in a loaf. Or so I thought.
I stared at the menu, and it glared back FRIED CHICKENLESS. The closest thing they had to offer was Citrus Glazed Chicken. Which although delicious sounding was not what I craved.
So I ran to the Riverboat Terrace to see if my nightmare was a reality. When I saw that they had only Turkey breast, and salad on their menu… my heart broke, for Disney had shunned my fried chicken.
Banished it even.
When I asked why? I was told to buy chicken nuggets… NUGGETS!! There shall be no $7.00 circular nuggets for me, thank you.
Now Fried Chicken only exists at the Plaza Inn (the loudest and most child infested restaurant in the Magical Kingdom), for $14.
Rain on my dreams and dash all my hope of golden delicious chicken. It’s not like I bathe in the chicken or force it on toddlers…. I just like it’s Americana like deliciousness.
And finally, shame on the hippies… I would never make anyone take tofu off the menu.
♫LAUREN
May 21, 2009
· Filed under Clay Mazement, Things that are Odd · Tagged babies, CLAY AIKEN, fun, future, Isabel, marriage, photoshop
Do you ever wonder what the future will bring to you??
A pony? A car? Children? A monster truck?
How about LOVE?
Now as you may know Isabel is currently in school but sometimes she daydreams about her future… and so in honor of Summer Loving which is just around the corner i give you one of Isabel’s daydreams.
While Isabel and Clay Aiken have been a hot internet item since he may his music debut on American Idol, as seen through many photos on this site Isabel has always wanted more.
here's an example of their early love.
like marriage…. Even if it can only happen in photoshop:
A little known fact Isabel has always wanted a renaissance inspired wedding :)
and then much like many girls Isabel has always wanted children and here she is with her first and most beloved… Manchild Guy Aiken.
So it may never really happen but a girl can dream can’t she. And since we’re BFFF’s I’m so happy that I can help you visualize your future :)
♫LAUREN
May 19, 2009
· Filed under Eric's in Space & Time, Things that are Odd · Tagged eric, fun, photoshop, photoshopping, spock, star trek
In Anticipation of the new Star Trek Movie I had an in office photoshop countdown of some of the famous characters of the franchise starring my co-worker Eric. Here is Eric as Spock:
Seriously, when he finds this online he may kill me :)
I ♥ Photoshop
♫LAUREN
May 13, 2009
· Filed under Clay Mazement, SPECIAL, Things that are Odd · Tagged CLAY AIKEN, Isabel, love, love boat, milf island, photoshop, pirates, sea of destiny
The Love Boat is exciting and new!
Currently aboard the most delectable cruise that ever sailed is none other than Captain Clay Aiken and First Mate Isabel!
I heard that they are sailing of the coast of destiny and into the sunset… And for those who are bad with geography here is a map:
don’t rock the boat kiddos!
♫LAUREN
February 18, 2009
· Filed under Clay Mazement, Enjoyable Stuff, SPECIAL, Things that are Odd · Tagged childhood, CLAY AIKEN, connection, evil, friendship, fun, Isabel, photoshopping, weird basket
Many people around the globe have been intrigued with the connection between Isabel and Clay Aiken. Many have asked how long has this “connection” been going on?
The answer may shock and amaze you, as we share with you this awesome exclusive content from Isabel’s childhood.
As you can see from the photograph below Isabel and Clay have know eachother for years… they’re admiration has since grown in trifold!
Here is a photo of them as young tender friends celebrating weird basket day…
What a TENDER GOOD TIME!!!
In fact Isabel’s own mother was not aware of the magnitude of dressing Isabel in this fine outfit. She just thought it was a clever catchphrase all the kids were into, she didn’t realize it was the start of an odd fascination that would stick with her first born forever.
Isabel and Clay a love that has lasted a lifetime… what a feel good story
♫LAUREN
September 11, 2008
· Filed under Things that are Odd · Tagged Isabel, non edible, picnic
A picnic that you cannot eat. Talk about being a tease. I actually think this is like one of the cruelest things ever devised, a nonedible picnic. I put this because of my recent discussions of life with Isabel where she told me she was very hungry. When I saw this image, I knew in my heart that Isabel could relate… because she is probably hungry right now.
- – LAUREN
September 11, 2008
· Filed under Things that are Odd · Tagged Jimmy
On Today’s special edition on this, the week I share my odd feelings with the world… I bring to you
Jimmy
Yes, my very good friend Jimmy who reads things I post on this site… but doesn’t comment because he is afraid that the internet will track him all the way back to the Valley.
I don’t mean that Jimmy is odd in a disturbing unlikeable way, but my fixation with him may be.
Here are some of my photos in my collection of young Jimmy…
Note: To scare Jimmy more I am adding this part to the post
if you would like more information about Jimmy, or need me to post more pictures just ask… I have a collection
- – LAUREN
September 9, 2008
· Filed under Things that are Odd · Tagged birthday, calendar, cornucopia, evil
On Tuesday’s continuation of my miniseries things that I find odd I direct you to the month of my birth.
November
November means lots of things to many people. To my family and friends it means a day to celebrate my existence. To the British it boasts Cracker Night/Guy Fawkes Day on the 5th. And to American’s it boasts Thanksgiving.
When I was a child I like many children loved to look at the calendar to see what day my birthday was on. . . . but for the most part the calendar would have a hideous friend on it during that month that over the years I began to loathe… the cornucopia. That is right, that nasty horn filled with assorted berries and evil spirits. All I could think was February gets hearts, June gets flowers, July gets fireworks, December gets sweet baby Jesus and November… is only good enough to get… a cornucopia.
Here look at my despair:
Thank you American Calendar makers for ruining my dreams of an awesome calendar experience for my birthday.
I hope you are happy.
– Lauren
September 8, 2008
· Filed under Things that are Odd · Tagged ads, Canada, disposable flasks, odd
I have decided to celebrate this week to its fullest potential I will each and everyday make a post about things that are not so right in this world…
Welcome to International Things that I find odd week!
I have been being driven insane by these ads that seem to cater to all the information that I place into the internet. There are always the diet ads that plague both Isabel and I, we assume Facebook is not pleased with our physique. They usually boast some sort of celebrity or food.
BUT some of the ads that pop up are really quite… special.
Since I falsely boast an engagement with Nancy on Facebook, I get all sorts of wedding related articles such as photographers and places that want use to book our faux nuptials.
Of course the ads share with me such other necessities as “Wedding Restrooms” that need no description after you read the ad.
But thus far my favorite wedding related ads are “disposable wedding cameras”… can they only be used at weddings??? Really??? There is no other event they would sell them for? That seems like event racism to me.
My foremost favorite ad besides immigrating to Canada, has to be disposable flasks, because my hefty, engaged ass that loves Canada and 1980s related cinema is in desperate need to drink, and so much so that I need to have a personalized disposable flask.
- – LAUREN
